I PASSED OUT
1st day of September, 2008
I woke up today, feeling that sweet rush of blood all over my body after having one long weekend of rest. It was a pretty feeling to have. Watching DVD's, eating noodles, surfing the net and lying there on my crooked bed wearing only my boxers. Nothing there to worry about yet. Haha. I'm giveth this time to take some leave of absence from the place I have been for the past four months. The past two months was one of the stressful time I had but also one of the best ones and I'm not denying the fact how much I've learned during my rotation in the Department of Pediatrics in Metropolitan Hospital.
I'm gonna be late again as I woke up early and finish up preparing my things and self about few minutes before eight. But I felt good. Community....how I can smell it. My time of rest. It was a hot morning but it didn't seem to matter that time as I was feeling good. This was one of those days I felt stress-free. Half of the morning went well. As noon time approaches, something started to sink upon on me. The reality I had to woke myself from my stress-free day. I don't want it to be ruined but I had no choice. Family matters.
I felt numb as I say goodbye to my co-interns to pursue my problem. I felt the sun loosing its shine over me as darkness starts to cover me. I walked through the streets of Blumentritt teary eyed. Not again. Everytime happening and predictable as it seems but I never made my self ready for it. So down with the fustration of this pursue, I decided to go back to my crib, removed my shoes and started removing my clothes off. Then I started loosing energy and suddenly fell deep into sleep. When I woke up, I missed half of the day in the community.
I felt dizzy and a little numb still. It felt like half of my body is buried in a pile of garbage. Its the same thing occuring eveytime. I felt tired I want to quit. My mom came that night. I want to embrace her but I felt very weak. She cried, I cried then I felt an energy coming into my body and providing me enough strength to even make a smile. It was my mom making me feel safe and calm. There was more than me, it was all of us. How sorry I felt that I've become selfish not thinking what others felt. I love my mom and I love my God that gave me this mother. It's time to take some rest, have a stick of cigar then slept.